Growing up, Grandma and Grandpa’s house was my “happy place”. I was fortunate to have three living grandparents until just after my 40th birthday, and lived close by all four grandparents my entire childhood. If I had to, I could create a movie set replicating every last detail from each of their houses. At my dad’s parents.. the figurines in the windows, the TV dinner trays, butterscotch candies in glass jars, screened-in patio, home-made mobile that dangled and danced above the bed where I slept, grandma’s super thin hairbrushes, the smell of their soaps and shampoos, green and white tictacs in the kitchen drawer, pink and white sprinkled animal cookies in the cabinet.. I can go on.
What I loved most about grandma and grandpa’s was… love. Unlike home, which fluctuated between chaotic fun with my brothers and anxiety-ridden parental outbursts, relentless teasing, sporadic arguments between siblings, bitter words between parents and even, on occasion, violence (not just between siblings).. grandma and grandpa’s house offered the comfort of peace and doting, positive attention. No raised voices, just warm, comfort foods, endless cookie-baking sessions, perpetual words of encouragement, 1:1 adult time (which was not a thing in a 4-kid household in the 70s-80s). It was a relief, a joy, and an inspiration to be there.
After the probiotic incident with my daughter, it came to my attention that my grandpa was suffering from some pretty disruptive and serious digestive issues - clearly this runs in the family (pun not intended, but I am not gonna edit it out). Crohn’s disease or was it colitis? Anyway, he was very uncomfortable.. and relegated to wearing old people’s diapers. After discussing this with my dad over dinner and wine one evening, it occurred to me that probiotics might help grandpa, too. It was probably 2006 or so if I had to guess.. internet research was pretty easy by then and after a little bit of digging, I found something called VSL-3, a concentrated probiotic that we could buy online, that seemed to help others with his same symptoms.
Over a series of wine-infused dinners (my parents lived nearby and treated us to home-cooked meals a few Sundays a month), I convinced my dad to buy some and give it a try. Of course he checked in with grandpa’s docs before proceeding. Once again he got wisdom and support along the lines of “can’t hurt.. might help..”, and so.. forged ahead.
A few months later, grandpa was out of “old man diapers”. To my knowledge he did not wear them again. He lived until 2018, dying the same day his wife did, 12 years earlier, in January, at the age of 99. That makes over 10 years of diaper-free living, thanks not to his docs, but some internet research from his loving family. Since then, I came to learn that VSL-3 and similar concentrated probiotics are now used post-surgery, in hospitals, to maintain health and ward off infections.
Lessons learned.. mainstream medicine:
-is not the only source of answers
-does not always proactively seek to address bothersome, ongoing symptoms
-can lag behind in terms of knowledge, such that the best solutions may be found through non-medical sources
Thanks for sticking with me… there is still more..
Beautiful piece. I’m circulating this to many friends and family up at first. Several of us are highly interested in probiotics, make our own water and milk, kefir, ferment, other foods, etc.