letting San Francisco go - part 2
coming to terms with my Santa Claus moment
There is no question that San Francisco is in decline. Incredibly, even the ferry building tower, one of SF’s brightest points these last two decades, looks dark and ominous (it’s currently being repaired.. from a distance, down Market St, it looks so misshapen that I caught myself muttering, a la Roy Kent). I didn’t see anyone defecate on the sidewalk, only because I was looking the wrong way out the car window, as we first drove in, when my daughters and hubs saw it happen. It’s a new thing for me to see a place get worse rather than better: my hometown, college town, the town we just moved from.. all felt like they had forward momentum, with better places to eat, new storefronts, and sidewalk improvements over the years. With retailers and hotel chains moving out of SF, it is obviously going the opposite direction. Most people I spoke with seemed to share the sentiment that it would probably get worse before it gets better, and will eventually take years (a decade?) to recover. I think that’s right. The most profound thing my grandpa told me is that things only change when they get bad enough. He was a life-long federal government employee.
Yoga has a similar concept.. as do many religions.. about the push and pull between darkness and light. My yoga teacher said yesterday that “Guru” literally translates to light and dark, together. Perhaps San Francisco will emerge stronger, wiser, more vibrant.. one day. For now, darkness is winning.
My mangled heart has not to do with the economic status of SF, though. It stems from my recent adult Santa Claus moment, the realization that the world is not as I believed it to be.
Growing up in the 80s and 90s, we studied World War II, pondering how groups of people - neighbors, friends - could turn against each other. I came away believing that we are better than this, more advanced, more aware, stronger for our history. That the world is not as portrayed in required reading like “Lord of the Flies” and “Heart of Darkness”. As a teen, I could not get enough of the movie: “The Mission”, which concludes with “the light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it”. This, after Jeremy Irons, as missionary priest in the South American rain forest, is shot and killed while resisting the political power struggle of the time.
I think it is more than fair to call me an idealist. My semester abroad in college was in Africa. And my formative years were marked with African famines and momentous, collective responses like this one,
which we learned for my elementary school talent show, with accompanying sign language that I can still do. Despite it falling out of favor (not “politically correct”), this song
is still in my top 3 favorite Christmas songs. I long for the days when herd mentality seemed to lead us to light.
I have been thinking about this essay for weeks, struggling to come to some resolution. At first, it was about making peace with San Francisco and all that happened there, through acceptance. But that requires accepting that humanity is always one media frenzy away from attacking (cohorts of) itself - as with covid and the unvaccinated.
Also in “The Mission”, earlier on, Jeremy Irons says “If might is right, then love has no place in the world.” Then he shakes his head, dejected, and mutters “It may be so… it may be so.” You already know how that movie ends.
I am not sure I can accept that we are no better than the “good Germans” of yesteryear, that we have not and cannot evolve to be something better. This morning, in his
newsletter, reminded us that we only need a third of us.. to retain our love for one another, critical thinking skills, and unity in the face of unjust acts. That means that if it feels like over half of US citizens today are detached from reality, divorced from basic logic, and quick to hate - we may still be ok! As long as we maintain our faith and continue to move forward.I hope so… I hope so.
One of the reasons I started this column was to do my part, by sharing my story and speaking out about the importance of critical thinking. The “middle” (of The Critical Middle) refers to my (sometimes wavering) hope that there is a large, silent mass of us - who are not captured by the cult mentality of either political party - who recognize that it is both our civic duty and moral obligation to question, be open to new perspectives, and dare to maintain the still-sacred, American tradition of calmly discussing important topics with those we don’t agree with.
Happy 4th of July, y’all! 🇺🇸
I hold San Francisco dear to my heart. It was where my family moved from Montana when we relocated to California. It saddens me to see the decay. But it’s not just SF, you see it everywhere here in California cities. It’s like the fall of the 2nd Roman Empire.
I worked in SF for 20 years, and watched it _literally_ turn to shit under the violent far left, which is utterly intolerant of even the slightest dissent.
I was once a Democrat myself, but now I see that our real danger comes from the resentful left. It was never about justice or anything other then resentment of anyone more competent or happier than themselves. Cain and Abel. They would rather kill you than let you be happy when they are not.