Our current Civil War - part 3
one Uniter’s journey
If we found each other on Substack, you are already mindful of the media sources you consume, digesting even those that you have selected with a critical view, and digitally unplugging to reground yourself in the reality of human interactions and age-old values. Still, it is easy to be diverted. A few days ago I watched some of RFK’s campaign video, and noticed myself feeling anxious about our national debt. Framed in total dollars and debt per person, the topic feels extremely dire - a nation likely to bankrupt itself within a decade or less. Much as I am personally an RFK fan, I was drawn to do some analysis of this view, and came across another perspective entirely, based on viewing the debt as a percentage of GDP, which is also growing, and the impact of minor reductions in spending on the long-term path. Debates on our financial state of the union aside, my point here is that we all can fall prey to fear-mongering, even from information sources that we proactively selected. Seeking out a viewpoint that is nearly the pure opposite of the one I was originally presented with gave me a fuller, more balanced perspective.
I recently came across Cate Montana, who takes the view that negativity comes from outside of us and [revising this section from an exchange with Cate] needs us to look it square in the eye, understand what it is, where it comes from and how it is impacting us, then stop paying attention in order for it to diffuse -in my mind, somewhat like Dorothy dumping water over the bad witch. Staying positive keeps us out of the pitfall of despair-driven inactivity, freeing us to invest in creating good and change.
How can we be the change we want to bring about? In addition to building the daily habit of staying positive (a journey unto itself), we can relentlessly keep bringing ourselves back to the mode of seeking to understand, rather than screening people for their Team colors (if you have spent time in CA over the past few years, you know what I am referring to). I suspect many of you are doing this already.
And we can forgive.
I get together every quarter or so with two covid-sympatico friends I met at a conference. Each time we meet face to face, one of my first questions is “have you gotten any apologies yet?”. To date the answer has been no.. and it’s mostly me posing the question. Which got me thinking.. why is this so important to me? Beyond the obvious human desire for restitution after being wronged, on reflection, there is something more.
Keeping score of apologies received has been my way of assessing the safety level of the world around me. The world went mad and attacked us “anti-vaxers” thanks to the ease with which our loved ones complied with instructions to hate us. If only they would regain their individual moral compasses, we would have insurance against illogical mob behavior in the years to come. In this worldview, we need them to change their perspective in order to right the world.. we are existentially dependent on that which we cannot control.
Like the negativity that comes from outside us, it turns out there is more separation here than it may seem. It turns out we don’t need the covidians to come around in order to set the world right again. The sheer pressure exerted against so many of us has put energy in motion that is pushing back, swinging the pendulum opposite from where it was. The force of covid madness was so strong, there are enough of us who viscerally experienced it, that we are moving to the land of equal and opposite reactions - with or without the committed (and sometimes commit-able) covidians. What’s amazing is that the more momentum shifts, the sooner they will come to their own senses - not through logic, but through subconscious groupthink. When those they follow start singing a new tune, they will too - without even realizing what is driving their choices. Why waste precious energy trying to convert others when evolving popular opinion is what will ultimately get them there?
The apologies may come… long after we have moved beyond craving them. Like in the movie Oppenheimer, when he is honored, years later, by many of those that maligned and undermined him. He wisely observes that the public display is not for him. It’s to assuage their guilty consciences, so they can quietly make peace with themselves.
As many wise people have noted, forgiveness is not for the one who inflicted harm, it is for the one moving beyond it. And it does not require an apology. Throwing water on the notion that we are dependent on covidians for our own safety, we can freely forgive them - “live and let live”, biting our tongues gently while they celebrate their next round of “protection”.
Until they change their tune.
When that moment comes, it is for us to extend an open, ready hand and welcome them to Team Uniters.
That day is coming.
I just don’t know when.
Thx, CM. Love your thoughts here. I was living in an apartment building filled with fellow artists who used to come knock on my door when they needed a remedy - like Elderberry syrup or an herbal tea or tincture. Then THE C hit and I became a pariah in the bldg where only one person to an elevator became the required norm. IDK what it was that unleashed in me but I refused to wear a mask or stand on any stickers on the floor. I'd worked too hard on my own healing. I ended up moving to the country in November of 2020.
That being said, whenever I let my mind wander to "wouldn't an apology be nice?" I think back to my 30-something-year-old married self with two young children, still living in the allopathic world, and I wonder what my reaction would have been back then. That's when all judgment falls away and I just let it go. We are all at different points on our path. I think it's wasted energy to hold a grudge with the masses who complied. I sure do hope people aren't falling for the "Bird Flu."
So, this is a piece I wrote on my blog to fellow Chiropractors...
I Need To Share Something Raw And Unfiltered And Something I’m Ashamed Of And I’m Working On It (this is not a post from my life's highlight reel)
I saw two posts from two ‘chiropractors’ who tout themselves as principled Chiropractors and yet every time I see their names it angers me. One of them proudly announced that they got and advocated getting the experimental gene therapy shot when it came out and the other told our profession to crawl up into a little hole and not to practice for fear of having the profession blamed for someone getting sick in our offices for not closing down until the scam/plan-demic was ‘over’. I Do Not Forgive Them, I Will Not Forget and their names still make me sick to my stomach.
I know of several churches that shut down because the state told them it was unsafe to hold church during the scam/plan-demic. They preached that Jesus was Jehovah Rapha (the great healer) but when the rubber met the road, they didn’t believe that and the mandates separated the wheat from the chaff. I know a church that closed for a week to pray and figure out what to do and then decided to stay open and I respect that pastor immensely. The Catholic Church’s official stance was that their members needed to take the experimental gene therapy as a social obligation even though they knew it was made with aborted fetal tissue. Perfect Love casts out all fear and yet many churches proved they do not know Him who is Love. I’m still Angered by that and I Do Not Forgive Them And I Will Not Forget.
People I thot were ‘friends’, colleagues and family that lectured me about getting the experimental gene therapy and then turned their back on me when they knew I would not waiver, I Do Not Forgive Them And I Will Not Forget.
The RI Department of Health mandating a dangerous experimental gene therapy and making it illegal for me to continue in my livelihood and disrupting my life and my wife’s life, I Do Not Forgive Them And I Will Not Forget.
The places of work that forced their employees to get the dangerous experimental gene therapy or lose their jobs, I Do Not Forgive Them And I Will Not Forget.
The government that made up non-scientific un-social distancing, masking and lying about the safety and efficacy of the experimental gene therapy, I Do Not Forgive You And I Will Not Forget.
To myself for not standing my ground and fighting the government and going to jail if need be for staying open and challenging the mandates, I Do Not Forgive Myself and I Will Not Forget.
It’s been a few years now and I still have so much anger and unforgiveness in my heart. God has rebuilt my practice in a new place and I still can not let go of the anger inside of me when I sit quietly and think about it. I pray for that feeling of hate and unforgiveness to leave me.
I think that part of my hangup is because of two tattoos. They were simple tattoos with numbers across the forearm of two of my grandparent’s friends. As children Mr. and Mrs. Conde told my brother and I about the atrocities that happened to them in the concentration camp they were in. They told us about the experimental drugs used on them, about being shunned and turned in to the authorities by people they thought were friends and neighbors, about not being able to gather in temples to pray, about losing their homes, jobs and relatives. AND all they asked of us was to Remember Those Atrocities, Never Forget and tell others so it wouldn’t happen again. Not all of those things happened during the scam/plan-demic but a lot of it did and that makes me all the more angry.
I am aware that Jesus died a horrible death on the cross for me to cover my mistakes and sins and in turn I should forgive those that have trespassed against me. I should just turn the other cheek and forgive 7 x 70 times as Jesus asked me to and yet it’s become one of the most difficult things I’ve ever tried to do. I’m ashamed that I haven’t yet completely forgiven and I’m working on it. If you’ve figured out how to do it, let me know.